Sexcaliber hrosspower

I hate eportfolios, I hate them so much, your just there nit picking, looking at the photos you've taken realising that you've got a miscellaneous shadow, however are unable to do anything as the light has faded. You look at your work and wonder, "is this really what they are looking for?". Thinking about all the other people applying for the same course, and how much better their portfolios will be, wondering how to make yours stand out. Also the other reason why I hate doing it, not only because its soul destroying looking at your work in that context, wishing it to be good. But also the amount of time it takes to make them, the hours spent in front of photoshop, simply arranging your work in an aesthetically pleasing, yet functional manner.

Its obsessive, it really is, just trying to make something good, hoping that if you have enough images it'll present who you are.

http://aftermarth.carbonmade.com/

My eportfolio, of course many people will be able to pass judgment as I have one follower. Why am I even bothering writing this. No ones going to read it. Nobody even knows I've written it. No one knows I've spent day creating a selection of eimages, to be sent off to euniversities, so as they can pass their ejudgment.

Well at least I've just thought of yet another soul destroying thing.

If a blog is written, but no one reads it, has a blog been written at all.

Charming Naivety

I know I don't have much talent, but apparently I can defiantly see, so its not all bad.

My sketched from wednesday fine art, I don't think I'm very good at detail. or making things look like what they really do, and I know that the pics are a tad rubbish, as I just took them in dodgy light, with photographic ability being rather limited. But for once of something I've done, I'm not thinking their appalling.

I don't like being told what to do

I think I vent my anger in odd ways.

Alter egos

We were set an alter ego project at college which I missed due to open days, and personally quite pleased that I missed as I don't feel I have one alter ego. I've got loads, I'm always trying to be so many different people, I've got loads of alter egos, depending on who I'm with. This video, well video maquet is me, all of me. Although as I said it's just a practice run, just to see what it looks like, before I spend an hour and a half making it, and then realizing that it looks shit. And wasn't worth it at all.

So if anyone actually goes onto this page, and I'm not just wasting my time, thats what this videos about. Although its just a practice run, there will be a finished piece with a sound track, and it will be much better.

Ok so blog, righteo what do I really say or do, never really done this before. Well actually I tell a lie I have. On myspace, but personally I wouldn't say that, that was terrible successful, as it just resulted in me being incredibly self indulgent, and depressed. Which I'm not, I'm happy, and I do not want to be classed as self indulgent. Although is this being self indulgent, saying what I'm not sure.If it is I am sorry, I don't mean to be, I just always end up saying what I'm thinking at the time if I'm allowed to write. Because in real life you can't do that. You have to edit yourself as you go. Your in a social situation, and due that must conform to social pleasantries, and rules. It can just be very easy to get confused as to what those are, and what to do in stressful situations, such as choosing where to sit.

Well look at me now. I'm just waffling which I think Is almost certainly self indulgent.

OK well the reason why I set this up, not because everyone else at colle

ge has, and I want to be like everyone else. That would never be the reason for anything. I never do things because everyone else does. I am an artist, I am never influence by such things.

So yeah thats the basic reason I am an artist (something which obviously isn't the kind of thing a pretentious twat would say.) And they recommended we set ourselves up a blog to post a work. Although so far I've just made inane comments about nothing.

So I must post my artwork. I think. So this is my work. Not really sure what to say about it except that it doesn't look very good in real life,

but I really like the way I've arranged this slide and thats why I've posted it.

Well now I'm not really sure what to do, do I say bye, its a whole new world. Maybe I should go and find myself some friends on this crazy website, other wise I am just talking to myself. Which I'm not sure but I think it could be a sign of madness.